Monthly Archives: December 2009
Bob Dylan smells issues
– the Assential Bob Dylan
A while ago, mr Dylans neighbors complained about the smell that came from his toilet (read more about it here).
I thought it was so funny, that I decided to write down as many jokes regarding this as possible, by using his own song titles.
Here’s the list (hold the mouse cursor over the title, to see the original one):
- “Don’t stink twice, it´s alright”
- “Knocking on heaven´s odeur”
- “Maggie´s fart”
- “Poo’ boy”
- “Shit ain´t me, babe”
- “Slow drain”
- “Like a rolling stool”
- “You’re gonna shit me”
- “Brownsmell girl”
- “Buckets of drain”
- “If you sewer, say hello”
- “Bob Dylan’s 115th cream”
- “A moonbeam on your feces”
- “Tight connection to my fart”
- “Poo right to me baby”
- “Shit hurts me too”
- “Tell me that it isn´t poo”
- “I threw it all your way”
- “Don’t ya smell Henry”
- “Someone’s got a hold of my fart”
- “We better take piss-cover”
And believe it or not – I’m 34 years old! 😀
Obama was behind it
So, what do you do when you are the second most powerful man in the world and a guy hits on your lady? Yes, you call the MOST powerful man in the world, to solve it.
The Butterfly Game
do NOT try this game at home. Well, don’t try it at all. I’m serious.
I will now tell you about a game. Or WARN you about a game, if you will. It’s called “The Butterfly” and believe it or not – it’s just dumb people that plays it. I really have to say that, because if you DO try this, I don’t want to be blamed if something goes wrong. So please, don’t.
The first game of “The Butterfly” was, as far as I know, played in one of the silly suburbs south of Gothenburg (the 2nd biggest city in Sweden. It’s kind of small, but big, if you see it through swedish ears). Anywow, since people in the suburb of Lindome doesn’t have anything to do, they invent different kind of games. Or, the games are just an excuse to drink tons of alcohol, but since people still laughs at it, it’s just fint to call it a “game”.
It’s really simple. Here’s a check list of items that you need to carry out the whole thing:
What you need
1. One piece of aquarium
2. 2 windup running plastic fish
3. Quite many metres of cling film
4. A couple of litres of, as we call it in swedish, GROGG [a drink made by mixing spirits with a soft drink]
5. A bunch of thin plastic tubes, about 1 meter long each
6. A bunch of crazy and partyhorny friends
7. An open field, as a grass lawn, a tennis field or a huge parking lot.
How to do
1. First, pour all the “grogg” (yes, that’s right, from now on, you really need to call a drink made by mixing spirits with soft drink for GROGG) into the aquarium.
2. Take the two windup running plastic fish, wind them up and let them dive into the grogg. They will now mix it, so it taste good for a long time. Sort of.
3. Wrap the cling film around your stupid friends, until they just look like a bunch of stupid people that are wrapped…in cling film…uh.
3. Now, put your friends around the aquarium. Put them in a funny pattern, like a flower or a sun cross. Be gentle to them. Oh, wait, they are wrapped in cling film! You can handle them the way you want. For now.
4. Help them with the plastic tubes. One and each of the participants should have maximum one tube each. If they have more than one, it will be unfair. Put it in their mouth, preferably.
5. After a while, you will have all your thirsty friends laying around on the field. Very cosy. Hopefully, the weather will be nice (so you probably don’t want to do it in Gothenburg then).
6. On the count to zero (from a optional number), your friend will have to suck even more than before.
7. Since they are in the pupal stage, they are a bit vulnerable to dogs, cats, lions, crocodiles, talibans and other creatures. Be sure not to leave them there, but guard them with your life (sort of). This is, however, optional. It’s up to you, actually.
8. Depending on how many of your friends that was dumb enough to participate in this crazy game and how many litres of grogg you have, sooner or later you will hear a slurping sound. It’s the typical sound that appears when a bunch of people drinks the last of grogg with plastic tubes from a aquarium. You will recognize this for the rest of your live, probablyl.
How ever, as soon as the grogg is finish, the participants have to crawl up on their knees, raise on their legs, squeeze their arms THROUGH the cling film and scream – “I AM A BUTTERFLY“.
The first one who does this, wins.
So, good luck with your playing! And don’t blame me if something’s going wrong. I will be busy sucking grogg, maybe in a park near you.